You Already Coach Yourself
5 Ways to Coach Your Inner Artist
(Isn’t that what we’re all doing on a daily basis?)
Papilla Estalar (Star Maker), Remedios Varo, 1958, Museum of Modern Art, Mexico City
It’s maddening. The inner voices are there: Do this, do that, you’re awesome!, you’re not good enough!
Humans constantly coach ourselves to do better, to take the next step, to keep learning. It is how we build lives, communities, civilizations. That’s The Good Coach.
But sometimes The Bad Coach is louder: Why did you mess this up, AGAIN!, you’re not good enough, why is that person better, why are you even doing this?
That is coaching, too.
Every day, we make decisions about what life is going to look like - and which coach we’re going to listen to.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this, because:
I often want to scream at the clouds:
Just tell me what to do!
But finally, truthfully, I have come to the conclusion that:
Nobody’s going to do this for me.
(Does that mean I’m a grownup?)
Not sure, but at least it settles a few things. That even though I have friends, mentors, teachers, and even … coaches, I must learn to coach myself.
This article is a collection of 5 ways I’ve gathered to coach myself—and some assignments to help you adjust your own self-coaching approach.
(It is in the air, because one of my business gurus, Christine Kane, just published a podcast about the “Just Tell Me What to Do!” syndrome. (FYI, I’m not getting paid by her, I just love her podcast!))
So, What Does a Coach Even DO?
You hear a lot about coaches these days: Life Coaches, Creativity Coaches, Business Coaches, Executive Coaches. It seems a lot of people want and need help, advice, direction.
So what does a coach actually do—and more importantly, how can we do a little of it better for ourselves?
1. A Good Coach Listens
Untitled (Painter), Kerry James Marshall, 2009, acrylic on PVC, 44 5/8 x 54 1/8 inches, Collection Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago
Well, a good one listens. Deeply.
Not just to the words you are saying, but to what is the meaning, message, and intention behind them. Sometimes we all need to be seen by another human. To find someone that GETS us and has our best interest at heart. To give a different perspective. Our moms (Louise, I love you! (may you rest in peace), our best friends, even our writing group or mastermind groups, or art teachers. All those people are here for us. And care.
Even when we see ourselves as a bit of a freak, those people are there listening. A good coach listens.
Self-Coaching Assignment #1:
Spend some serious time listening deeply to yourself.
Write it out in a journal. Light a candle. Spend some time with it.
2. A Good Coach Brings Perspective
After listening, a good coach responds to what we are saying and trying to say with empathy and useful thoughts. You feel seen and heard. If you tell your coach your deepest vulnerabilities with your work, that person can see what is behind your insecurities and questions, and help you sort that out.
They help you ask questions to help you have perspective and see things in a new way, like: Where were you this time last year? How far have you already come?
Self-Coaching Assignment #2:
Spend some serious time in empathy toward yourself, seeking perspective.
Again, write it out - answer some of those questions: How far have I come? What are the good things I am doing right now? What am I grateful for?
Self-Portrait, Pan-Zhang Yuliang
(Chinese, 1895-1977)
Sold to a brothel at age 14, Pan-Zhang Yuliang’s freedom was bought by a customs official who married her as his second wife. She went on to study art in Shanghai, Lyon, Paris and Rome. She became famous as the first Chinese female artists to paint in the Western style.
3. A Good Coach Focuses on Action
This is the biggest difference between a coach and a therapist. Coaches focus more on future action.
Sometimes we may really need a therapist to help us work through deep-seated issues or past trauma, and that is great. A coach, after listening and bringing empathy and perspective, will spend time strategizing about how go forward and helping you create a plan of action (which may include going deeper to understand what’s at the heart of a problem).
No football coach says - “Ok guys, now go sit on the bench, watch from the sidelines, and think about how you messed up the last game while the other team wipes up the field with us. Break!”
A coach helps you determine the game you are playing and helps you strategize on how you are going to play it better. We often get so stuck in the day-to-day, that we actually forget to even think about what we want the future to look like.
Self-coaching Assignment #3:
Spend some serious time thinking about
the outcomes you want.
Do you see a pattern here? I finally did. I used to write about all the crappy stuff going on in my life in my journal. After I started focusing on the good things, setting goals, thinking about the outcomes I wanted to see, and started using it as a space to think about solutions, things started to shift in my head - and my life.
(Not that I’m totally there yet!)
Remember: It’s a Process!
Self-Portrait (1691), Anna Waser; (Swiss, 1689-1714), Collection Kunsthaus Zurich. Trained by her father, Waser went to Bern at age 14 and was the only girl in her class for four years. She was a successful artist and court painter until her death at age 35 from a fall.
4. A Good Coach Offers Accountability
I struggle with finishing the many projects I start. That’s my biggest challenge. Finding a process that doesn’t give me anxiety and helps me complete things and follow through. When I finally broke down and got a coach to help me finish my website and set up my business (thank you Brittany Torres at Phoenix Brand Management!), it was an investment in getting past some serious blocks, having someone to hold me accountable, and getting me on track when I kept asking myself - Why am I not doing the things I love?
Since I have actively sought out communities of like-minded artists and entrepreneurs over the last couple of years—my Art MasterMind group, my Co-Dependables writing group, Kimberly Trowbridge’s Advanced Seminar, Patrick LoCicero’s Critique Group, my Moon Painters Group—I have made more progress than years before.
Self-coaching Assignment #4:
Find an Accountability Partner or Group
Whether online or in your community, a class or a like-minded colleague or friend, make it official. Give it a name. My writing group, the Co-Dependables, lets us laugh that we are “in recovery” from not writing. We use Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and other tools to guide each other. Which brings me to my last point:
5. A Coach Brings Tools
Self-Portrait with Two Pupils, Marie Gabrielle Capet (1761-1818) and Marie Marguerite Carreaux de Rosemond (died 1788), by Adelaide Labille-Guiard, oil on canvas, 83 x 59 1/2 inches, 1785, Collection Metropolitan Museum of Art
Artists are resilient problem solvers who must constantly coach ourselves, even though we may not realize it. For me, I finally made a serious commitment to use my tools. I write in my journal almost every day for 10 minutes (or more - I sometimes set a timer on dreaded writing projects and free write for 20 minutes in my journal), I meditate at least for a few minutes a day to calm my spinning mind. I set goals. I set a pretty strict schedule for myself. I try to go to bed early and eat right. I psyche myself up to take on the next artistic hurdle on the canvas and in business. I’m diving in.
Here’s an example: I recently found and took the Kolbe A Index personality test - and it is fantastic. It talks about our “striving instinct” - the way we actually take action, show up, in several different areas of action, and it helped me learn a LOT about my best ways of working (more on that later.) It is fascinating, and I want to incorporate it into my own coaching and teaching. For artists especially, it is a fantastic tool for understanding yourself and your instinctual creative process. (FYI, I’m not getting paid for this).
And I recently completed Eric Maisel’s very thorough and enlightening Creativity Coaching Course—so I can help other artists move through some of the changes I have navigated with more spells in my Grimoire and wands in my chatelaine.
Self-Coaching Assignment #5:
Find One New Tool
Buy a new Journal. Watch a webinar. Take a class. Something NEW to break something loose in your practice and process.
The Upshot
If anyone out there feels the same anxiety, confusion, directionlessness that I did - about your art and your art business, (or whether you should even HAVE one) - I feel for you.
I have been there, and not too long ago.
But I’m working through this process. I am leaning in!
I will continue to have a coach. I will make that essential investment for me and my life and art and business. But what my time with coaches and my time as a coach - and as a struggling human and artist has told me: I will also actively coach myself. And others.
Yes, I have made a commitment to help others on this same path:
I commit to be a catalyst for you, artists, to understand and develop your own innate creative processes, vision, strategies and goals for your art and business.
I’m taking action with new tools I’ve acquired, systems I’ve learned, and methods I’m developing myself - mostly to aid you, fantastic artist, in developing your OWN methods.
That’s what my coaching method does - It helps you understand and coach yourself.
So we can spend more time creative magic at the easel—but with more clarity, more purpose, more confidence in our ideas and our body of work and our business plans and vision for our future.
(Ok, except for that amazing weekly session where we get to talk about goals and strategies, plans and new ideas.)
What’s Next?
If you are an artist interested in exploring what art coaching (and self-coaching) might look like for you, I would love to let you in on some the secrets (and get your feedback) of my new Evolve Your Creative Practice course for artists now in development. (You can set up a free 30-minute coaching session - I’d love to chat with you!)
I’ll be teaching this, and two other new courses on Teachable in the next few months. The first one is live soon (sign up for my newsletter below to stay in the loop).
Mission, Vision & Values! Oh, MY!: Understanding 7 Essential Terms for More Productive Goal-Setting
This first class is FREE so we can get to know each other. I will share some essential ideas about goal setting, and I hope you can help me know what artists need in coaching and classes. I will also be adding one-on-one coaching sessions as well (Here are the details, how much I charge for coaching, etc. etc.)
I wish you amazing artists life in the next year!
And if I can do it, honey, ANYone can do it!
An exercise from the Trowbridge Atelier to abstract a painting into graphic shapes and clear colors.
